Sow a Little Seed Each Day

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Well, here it is Saturday and I fear I would most like to be shopping.  There is a flea market where I can pick up comics by the ton and I have been enjoying reading the comics and then giving them to young kids around the neighbourhood and sometimes also giving them out when I do book signings.  The other day I went to a party for the new library writers in residence and my neighbour and friend Gary was asked to read portions of his new book about his prison volunteer efforts.  Gary is really an amazing guy, he not only works for numerous charities, he is a musician and has a PhD in English.  I met Gary in the neighbourhood and then found out we are both poets and so we car pool to one of my favourite Edmonton events, “The Stroll of Poets” meetings which take place Mondays.

Another kind of cool thing about Gary is that he is raising his Grandkids.  His granddaughter is this feisty little 7 year-old who is never afraid to speak her mind, she is really a neat kid.  Spending time with children really makes me wish that I could have raised a child or two of my own.  But all that aside, things are going well.  I have this very strong urge though to save up and buy a brand new Nikon Camera on boxing day.  There is one that would just take amazing pictures, has a 24.3 MP sensor and comes with two lenses.  The main problem is that I most want a good camera for when I go on vacation, but if I buy this camera I won’t be able to afford to go on vacation.

As for my next trip, I am not sure if I want to go to Hawaii again.  It is such a beautiful place, and one of the things I really like about it is that it is part of the US.  Which means you have all kinds of standards for road quality, clean water, safety in emergencies, and on and on.  A lot of friends have been telling me about Costa Rica which sounds pretty good, but I will have to do more research before I commit to it.

This week I wrote two short stories, which I am submitting to literary journals for publication.  Before sending them out I had two writer friends look them over and they seemed to like them, but I wonder if they have as much ‘literary’ content that these publications look for.  At the very least I will be compiling these stories and others into another collection, and possibly trying to submit them to be published.  Right now I am waiting to hear from a publisher on the West Coast of BC about a young adult novel I wrote which I think has promise, but as is often said, any writing is never really finished, it is more just abandoned.

Well, I don’t want to disappoint, so I have written another poem for you my good readers, you can find it just below the photo I am posting under this entry.  Enjoy, and please leave your feedback!

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Down Through The Years

 

I used to often feel as though I were trapped inside

My dark and quiet room in which I sometimes hide

 

It seemed so easy to zone out and cover up my head

When I felt bad and needed my soft and yielding bed

 

Though I am not a young man I am always in bed alone

I was never able to have a family, have my own home

 

Through the years I have made some amazing friends

My inner thoughts sometimes fear they all just pretend

 

To see me as equal, a person who is whole

Not this shell I sometimes feel I am, without a soul

 

I am not like most, I have a bad affliction

Though not by choice like an addiction

 

It’s been called an illness, some say I’m just crazy

Some say I’m faking, some say I’m just lazy

 

My diagnosis gets me treatment and a pension

But still I wait and hope for some new invention

 

That will whisk this disease right out of me

So I can break these chains, one day be free

 

Before I was on my pills I did things I can’t forget

Hurt lovers, classmates, increased my family’s debt

 

How these people were kind enough not to put me away

I am more grateful than I could ever say

 

Things changed for me, after years I learned to adapt and grow

Each day one small seed of recovery I would sow

 

My dear old Dad also cared an awful lot

Even though many times we yelled and fought

 

And then one day I learned a friend had saved some writing

And another close friend inspired me to keep trying, fighting

 

Not long after that I had a book to show for all my pain

And I slowly started to become whole again

 

The stories in the book told of what I went through inside

It filled me with new hope, my loved ones with pride

 

And now when I meet someone who has been wronged

I let them know there is a way to feel as though they belong

 

Just like me they can take up the pen

Tell their deepest fears, feel young again

 

Life will not ever be perfect, I still need help and medicine

But I will never give up on myself again

 

You see, I did that once, I tried to end my life

I put my loved ones through so much pain and strife

 

I will never again look for a solution in suicide

I now have my work to let out what I feel inside

 

Bit by bit when you write your life down

You see new miracles all around

 

The joy of a warm spring day, the smell of flowers

The renewing aspect of travelling’s powers

 

And then of course is my wonderful niece I will see soon

More beautiful than a warm happy day in june

 

Since those past dark days I have gone so far

Expressed so much, I have healed my scar

 

And now I tell you dear reader with these lines

No matter how bad it gets there will be happy times

 

Think not on all you do not have or will never do

And hug someone who cares for you

 

 

Leif Gregersen

December 13, 2014

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