Definitely a Touch of Mania In My Mind Tonight

This is what is known as the Muttart Conservatory in Edmonton. They are really beautiful inside, with plants from different climates in each one, made for Edmontonians to appreciate summer while it is winter outside, or to experience other parts of the world while the sun is shining. Scroll past today’s poem for my blog post.

 

Season’s Changes

Summer is past and all at once
The leaves all begin to turn
Soon cooler days will prevail
And marshmallow roasting fires will burn

I love this times of hayrides
Roasted hot dogs out under the stars
Loved ones all around me
And seeing the red twinkling light above of mars

As I change and I grow older
I sometimes let in worries and fears
And as the time goes by so fast
I also shed a few more tears

I think of all the loves I had and lost
And of all the loved ones who passed
I also miss more than a few old friends
From my old school’s graduating class

Look now, the leaves have fallen!
And the trees seem dead and bare
That means that Halloween is coming
Time to teach the little ones how to play and scare

The gutters are filled with crunchy leaves
That will soon be filled with ice and snow
But skiing, sledding, skating
Will still give us a healthy, happy glow

Don’t regret the end of summer
As I give best wishes to you, all of my friends
Just because the weather cycles are shifting
Doesn’t mean the cycles ever end

September 28, 2017
Leif Gregersen

Well, I don’t really know if anyone reads these. Still, it seems to be good therapy for me to write them. I am troubled by a few things tonight, not the least of which is that I can’t get to sleep. I thought it would be easy to sleep tonight, I stayed up all night, went for a swim in the morning and walked a total of at least 11km on top of that. I even played a little street hockey with a couple of kids for a while just for fun. It really was fun too, I got a lot of joy out of it. But now, after taking a pill for a headache, a tranquilizer and ten milligrams of melatonin I am not able to fall asleep and morning is fast approaching. It had been a long day yesterday. I got notice that I had a library book ready for pick-up and so I went and got it (Graphic Novel about Donald Duck) and spent most of the night reading it. I also have gotten myself into two courses online, both of which are writing courses. Basically I had been up all night. I don’t feel like I still can take on the world or even that my thoughts are racing, but I definitely think something is wrong if I can’t rest.

There have been a lot of things going on. I am now teaching a Wellness Recovery class for the Schizophrenia Society and it has its trials. There is this one young man (who reads this blog) who I lost a shouting match to over wanting to explain some ways a person can make a hospital stay easier. I had every right to kick him out of the class, but I didn’t want to have him leave disgruntled, I feel that would be simply the result of not teaching him with enough patience. I am reminded of one of the worse memories of my mom from a shortly before she died. She grabbed me by the collars while she was sitting in her wheelchair, wouldn’t let go of me, pulled me down to her face and said, “You are the stupidest…” It really hurt, even though I know my mom’s mind was pretty much gone near the end. I don’t know why negative things have to pop up, there were plenty of good memories.

So at a time like this, one has to stick close to family to get through. My dad and I went to a nice restaurant the other day and had fish and chips. The waitress was really cute but my dad didn’t seem to mind that I wanted to talk to her for a while after we finished eating.

Eating brings up a whole new subject. For the past while I have been trying out a vegan diet, though I stopped it about a week ago. I have to admit I felt better when doing it, didn’t feel so bloated and fat as I do now, but I found myself also feeling pretty weak and I didn’t get a whole lot of exercise in the time I was trying the diet. I have decided I will try the vegetarian/vegan diet again, but I want to consult with a professional nutritionist before I do.

As I look at the clock, I see that my countdown to having to get up is just six hours away and I have barely slept a wink. I see my Psychiatrist in the morning and I think I am going to have to bring this up with him. The bad thing is that I have been told that sleeping pills affect memory but I have been taking them anyway, and I have been finding that my memory is getting much worse. Anyhow dear readers, I hope you were able to wade through all of my complaining today. On the more positive side of things, I published a flash fiction piece, feel free to click below to check it out!

https://flashfictionmagazine.com/blog/2017/10/08/first-love-last-hope/

 

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