Month: May 2016

Let Me Fill Your Heart With Poetry

DSCN0105

This is a walking path near my house and the skyline of Edmonton

Today’s poem (blog underneath):

Think What You Like, This Isn’t a Poem

 

Don’t just get out of it

Saying you can’t read it

Don’t say you never really

Got it; it sucks

 

Poetry is in all of us

 

We had poems in the womb

In the loving heartbeat and the voice

Of the one who carried us

 

Poetry is all around us

 

It’s in a huge weeping willow

That sings a symphony

Something you might not expect from a tree

It’s one without music or words

But the greatest one you’ll ever see

 

Poetry is in each heart

 

The young children playing

The teenagers laughing

The forlorn widows weeping

The young lovers loving

 

Poetry.  It’s there in every dance, every song

 

In each step shuffle and move

Let go and go with the groove

Expression and joy

Is all there is to prove

 

Poetry Endures

 

Each year month and day

Will slip away

Take a chance and play

 

Poetry is always there for you

 

It’s my hope to let you know

When you feel there’s nowhere to go

You can reach out of the deepest hole

With a poem

 

God is love.  Love and Poetry go together

 

Poetry is the blueprint

Of all creation

It is who we are deep inside

So come along for the ride

 

Poetry is honesty

 

And know I crafted these words for you

And all of them are true

Don’t ever let yourself feel blue

Poetry can change you, make you feel brand new

 

Leif Gregersen

 

Good day to everyone who follows this blog.  I have been having a much easier time keeping up with things writing posts a bit less and it seems I have a few more followers this way so look for the current pattern to continue.  I am going through an interesting time, to say the least.  As many know, I have worked in the past for a union that handles labour for concerts, plays and film.  I think I just might be able to put that job to rest for a while, plus I haven’t done it in a few months so I don’t even know if I would be in shape for it.  It has been a difficult decision to make because the money is really good, but I just find myself getting too stressed with all the other things I have to do.  Thursday I have something kind of huge happening, I am going to give a presentation for the Schizophrenia Society and a man from the Alberta Speaker’s Bureau, an organization that hires and places public speakers will be there to evaluate me.  I think I will do okay, I’m going to give it my best shot and if I don’t do that well I think I will have to just dig in my heels and join toastmasters for a while and try again.

I have also been teaching a writing class which will be ending in a couple of weeks.  I don’t really know what I’m going to do when I return from London, hopefully, there will be a writing project I can dive into by then.  It is so important that I keep busy, but I often find myself trying to do that in not the best ways.  One of the ways I keep busy is by going shopping, but at the moment, I honestly have all of my needs covered.  I also noticed that when I go to visit my dad or my brother I go there, get down to business, eat or do whatever we had planned to do and then leave.  I guess I would kind of like to go into some kind of therapy to deal with this eventually.  Maybe I have to do incredibly well with my writing and have a lot of money before I can afford to deal with some of my issues.  I do know my sister saw a psychologist for a time and it did her a lot of good.

Despite all my stressors and problems, there is a lot of good things happening in my life.  Of course, I am going to London, England soon and when I come home I will be moving into a very nice apartment.  As usual, though, no matter how good things get I seem to always find myself in a position where if there aren’t people lavishing praise on me I feel like a failure and want to do something drastic like give up writing completely.  Another thing I hate to admit is that though I don’t seem to have any feelings for them anymore, I find myself often thinking about relationships that died more than 25 years ago.  And when I think of that and see pictures of myself I wonder if any of them would even find me attractive now that I have put on all this weight.  Sometimes I feel as though my medication is ageing me before my time.  Sometimes I think I would like it if I had a girlfriend, other times I think that I’m happy to have so many really nice looking and sweet female friends in my life as it is, and then there are times when I possibly don’t like myself enough to feel I should be in a relationship.

I wonder how many other people are in a similar position and feel this way.  I kind of hope if there are people out there they would email me and chat.  As usual, any readers of this blog are welcome to email me, the address is viking3082000@yahoo.com

 

Advertisements

The Beauty of a Changing Perspective

DSC_0220

Got this great close-up of a Common Aerial Yellowjacket Wasp yesterday

Today’s poem:

Garden Crescent

 

Each day of my youth on those crisp cold winter nights

I could see each star, all the stars afforded the place

Where I grew up; a gift of living in the north

 

While walking home from the store; finished with

My noisy spaceship fantasies imaginings banged out

On computers encased in wooden boxes to which

 

I would feed quarters.  There was the big dipper

I was blind to Mars and Venus, Jupiter; even my own

Sign; not the dawning of Aquarius but Saggitarius

 

The big dipper was the only constellation I knew

I almost saw it as one thing, not stars as far from each

Other as they were from me.

 

Often on those days the dancing sheets of light

Would come to amaze amuse astound

It was only one block home but in a young boy’s mind

 

It was a billion light years travel time

And everything seemed so real, so much more alive

In the insignificance of my own existence

 

Stars by the millions light travelling over eons and decades

Some gone before I was even born so I could

Catch their light at the precise moment it reached Earth

 

I wonder then as I wonder now

How so many celestial bodies could exist

Just far enough away to barely see them

 

And not see them in the day

Night was my time then as it is now

This poem my guide into darkness

 

 

Leif Gregersen

May 10, 2016

 

Hello and good morning to all those who like to follow this blog.  I had the most amazing experience today.  I went to teach my Monday creative writing class, and I felt an incredible connection to the adults with mental health issues I was working with at the mental health club where the class takes place.  There was one young man who is brilliant in many ways and always participates in exercises.  He also has a great reading voice.  The sad part is that he lives with a diagnosis of schizophrenia, and it has been a huge barrier to living for him.  He told me that he wished the class would go on permanently every Monday not end in a few weeks.  There is a woman in the class who is a bit shy though very mature who didn’t think she could ever write anything worthwhile and in the first class I taught we had a mini poetry competition, and her poetry won.  She has been coming ever since and today brought three pages of beautiful rhyming poems to show me.  The class went incredibly well; I felt like I was really in command of the subject and that we were doing something that benefitted all of us.  It made me want to call my sister who has a Master’s in Education and teaches in Toronto and attempt to describe to her how great teaching makes me feel, but I think she understands.

Things seem to be happening so fast lately.  In just a few more weeks I will be on a plane to London, England.  Next week I will be working on the setup of an outdoor Beyonce concert to pay for my trip and then there is something that I am stressing over a bit, I am going to head to a Junior High School and lead a poetry workshop.  I think I have prepared enough to handle the event, but still I feel a bit nervous.  I have been doing so many public talks and teaching jobs that it really shouldn’t be a problem, I think I will even have fun with it.  I am conscious though of the possibility that I am taking on too much at once.  It really is getting hard to sleep.  Today I got my bus pass and London map in the mail.  At 11:30 pm I got out of bed just to google the Hostel I will be staying in to see if they have lockers.  I think though, that all I really have to do is act like Santa Claus for anything that stresses me like classes or trips or anything.  Make a list, and check it twice.  Then do something I learned from the wealthy people in my hometown.  If there is any kind of a problem, just make sure and throw money at it and make damn sure you have enough.

Aside from all that, I did do something that I think was really helpful.  I needed to get a few things, and I have been thinking a lot about how ripped off people are when they live in inner city areas and need to buy their things at private drug stores, cash their cheques at rip-off finance outfits, and buy their food at convenience stores.  It can be really expensive to be poor in this world.  So I elected to hop on the bus which I knew would take an hour to get to the discount stores and just brought a book.  It was one I bought some time ago that I had put down but not because I didn’t enjoy it.  It is a book about Buddhism called “Wherever You Go, There You Are” and it was such a nice feeling to get away from all distractions and just sit on the bus, the blocks rolling past as I enjoyed looking at my own thoughts and actions from a different perspective.  Reading really is such an amazing, healing process.  Writing isn’t far behind.

LG

 

Every Day in Every Way Things Get a Little Better

Hello, Dear Readers!  Please see below for today’s poem and below that for today’s blog.  I wanted to share with you an effort I am making to help support myself as a creative person without having to work my normally extremely difficult and dangerous job.  I have started a Patreon page where people can make pledges to support me and in return, I will send them poetry, printed and frameable photos, signed short story manuscripts at regular intervals and even set up group discussions with me either by phone, google hangouts or email to talk about anything you wish, be it writing or otherwise related.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT MY PATREON PAGE

DSC_0061

This is a bit of a rough picture I took of something known as a “blood moon” I tried getting better shots, but I was chased off by some security guards from where I had set up and had to take this photo through a fence.  It was kin of cool to see the red moon which was much larger earlier that evening.

Today’s Poem:

The First Green of Summer

 

 

The sun shines above grass grows underneath us

Share with me another great victory

This is the time to be happy

Winter is gone and we’re free

 

Lush green trees and lovely white flowers

The geese and the convertible cars

The sun is hot and beating down on my shoulders

And at night I can lay I cool grass and stare at the stars

 

Come and meet me leave your sweater or jacket

Don’t forget your camera and something to drink

Winter skiing was a spectacular experience

And so was playing shinny for hours at the rink

 

But we must change and grow with the seasons

It’s toasty hot and there is so much to do

Come on out and meet me we don’t need any reasons

To enjoy each moment of this season all the way through

 

Each day grows a little bit longer

Each night it is harder to sleep

I lay awake for long hours with no covers

But stil a joy fills my heart so perfect and deep

 

Forty-four years may have taken a few things from me

But this glorious sunshine has given all of it back

It’s good to be this old because of the freedom

And the fact that there is nothing I lack

 

Walk through forested trails or ride your bike by the river

The sun and the sky is a glorious gift

Or lay back in the grass with a novel

Just let the weather give your heart a lift

 

And yes now we should embrace all our loved ones

And honor those no longer with us

Make your plans to take trips and find new fun

Planning good times in summer is so much less fuss

 

Remember we all have just a short time

To love those who are close by our side

Letting summer pass by seems like it’s a crime

Let go of all of your anger and pride

 

Join with me hand in hand in the sunlight

And know that both of our futures are bright

 

Leif Gregersen

     Well Dear Readers, a lot has been happening.  I recently booked a trip to Lonon, England and I am looking forward to it immensely.  I’m actually having a pretty hard time getting to sleep thinking about my little adventure and some other ones I’m going to take this year.  In August I have booked a trip to Toronto were I will stay at my sister’s house and due to a scheduling problem she is actually going to be here in Edmonton while I am there at her house.

The cool things that have been happening lately are that I went to my home town library on Monday and gave a talk for an hour and a half.  I think that was the most time I had spent in front of an audience without a break.  I read from my books, told my own story and read a couple of short stories that I feel were of a fairly high quality.  The main point of going though was to help educate people about mental illness, though it didn’t hurt to get my name known among more people as far as writing goes.  I had hoped to sell some books, but made no sales.  The good thing though was that the library gave me a $100 honorarium which was nice.  I think I am really starting to make an impact on things.  It seems wherever I go people tell me they saw me in the newspaper or on TV or had seen me speak somewhere.  I had been advised before to try and get emails from as many of my customers as I could so I could keep in touch with them but I have some problems with adminstrative things.  What I am learning is that there is money out there to be a writer, to give workshops and talks, but you really have to get good at it.  I am doing a lot of things like giving talks for the Schizophrenia Society of Alberta and teaching a creative writing class and I think it is really helping my confidence.  I still get worried now and then that someone will come and get in my face about things I did far in the past or even that I will bump into someone from a horribly failed relationship and not know what to say.  So far things have been going really good though.

Well, that is just about all I have on my mind.  I was surprised to learn that my posts are reaching a lot of people.  As always, I would love to get feedback on some of the things people might want to see on this blog, issues I can address, questions you may have.  Feel free to contact me at viking3082000@yahoo.com if this sounds like you.  Take care my good readers, and stay mentally and physically healthy, you deserve it!

Leif Gregersen