Hello Dear Readers! I want to extend a hand of friendship to all those who take the time to read my blog and encourage you not to be a stranger, email me any time at firstname.lastname@example.org
Well, today I kind of had something on my mind and I expressed it in a poem which I will post below the second photo for today. It is a weird thing. When I was in high school, I had a couple of friends here and there, but never really was in tight with any groups, with perhaps the exception of Air Cadets. Then, when I quit cadets, as though my membership in that organization dictated who I should associate with, I stopped talking to any Air Cadets completely, with the exception of maybe two guys, one who was my best friend just about all through cadets and thought would be my best friend forever, and another guy who was a good friend for many years but kind of took a different path than me, mostly because he went to a Catholic School and I went to a Protestant one. It seems so weird now to think of a whole city having the choice of only Catholic or Protestant high schools if you consider how much of the world is Buddhist or Hindu or Native Indian or any of the tons of religions. In my home town’s defense, they did open up a third high school and most people were free to attend any school they liked.
To get back to the subject of friendship though, I knew this guy in grade nine and his name was Mike. He was a pretty nerdy guy, overweight, wore glasses but didn’t have much skill in the academic part of school. He told me once he used to get 95% averages and that it dropped to 65% after he smoked pot twice, that helped me to stop experimenting myself. In a lot of ways Mike was a good friend, but he liked to egg me on to do things. He always seemed to get me to wreck something or tick someone off. Another thing I used to do to impress him for some reason was drive on people’s lawns. There was this one time a girl was having a party that she didn’t want her parents to know about and I drove my Dad’s van right through the snow in her front yard then yelled at her for not adequately cleaning her driveway causing me to slip. I was a jerk.
So anyhow, Mike and I did a lot of fun things together. We had a couple of other friends, one of them is now a University Professor and the other has some successful insulation company in our home town. It was just that they all drank so bloody much all the time. Nothing was fun without drinking for them, but there were other reasons I didn’t stay friends with them. Part of it had to do with me leaving to try and join the military and part of it had to do with people moving on. The weird thing is that I think about these guys a lot. When you are 16 or 17 you tend to think your friends will be your friends forever. I don’t feel so bad about it, it is now more than 25 years since then, but it would be nice to meet up with some of these people. Sadly with my illness it might not be the healthiest thing. I am so blessed now to have a great job and lots of people I love working with. I don’t have a car or any property, but in a way that gives me a special kind of freedom.
I wonder if many of you people, my readers, were around in the 1980’s? I have a lot of memories of being a little tipsy and driving around blasting songs on our cassette decks like “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake or “Where The Streets Have No Name” by U2. I have such vivid memories, paired with emotion-memories, (when I think of these times, I feel what I felt back then, I was in love with this young woman I had no hope with, I was often in a state of depression, but cruising and music always lifted my spirits).
It is weird to think back to how I felt at those times, maybe it was because I wasn’t on medication I should have been taking, maybe it was just because I was young, but everything seemed to have so much more meaning, love seemed stronger, attraction seemed so much more urgent. I also kind of have this feeling that if I call up some long lost friend I will learn they died ten years ago or something like that. This is where gossip comes in handy, but it is rarely truthful. I did run into a guy I was good friends with for a couple of years in junior high and he was very happy to see me and even bought two of my books. He had read about me in my home town paper and said he had been going around bragging that he knew me. Now that felt good.
I don’t really know what I’m grabbing at as I write this though. I want to express how hard it is to lose a friend while there is a big part of me that thinks two contrasting things: 1) those people would be a negative influence on me anyway with my new clean and sober and churchgoing lifestyle, and 2) If I really wanted to get in touch with these people, it wouldn’t be as hard as I am making it out to be. I could pick up the phone, look up brothers or sisters or such, there are people who could get me in touch with them. One thing I do a lot is one-up myself over people I once knew. I think to myself, well, I’m better than them because I have written these books, because I have traveled to these places, but when it really comes down to it people aren’t much different whether they are rich or famous or religious or not. I should also note that there are two guys out there who are literal people-using, self-serving, destructive socio/psychopaths that I should never talk to again. I guess there are more than that. I think that is a good time to leave off though, I would love to hear from anyone what they think or see any comments on the topic of friends, toxic and nurturing.
Anyhow, I am writing this blog today on June 6, 2015 which is the 71 year anniversary of the D-Day invasion. I hope anyone out there who reads this can pause for a moment and say a silent prayer for those who lost their lives on both sides of that battle. If it hadn’t taken place and hadn’t gone the way it did my Dad wouldn’t have been around to come to Canada to become my Dad as he grew up in occupied Denmark which was liberated by the British Army. No political statement, no war stories, I just hope anyone who prays that they think for a short while about what this day in history means. And if you don’t pray, a good way to think for a moment about the lives lost on that day is to watch “Saving Private Ryan” I’m posting the link below in case anyone wanted to take a look. Scroll down below today’s second photo for today’s poem. All the best!
This is a photo of the Edmonton Remand Centre, where people were once kept awaiting trial. There is talk of turning it into a homeless shelter, and whispered rumours that it was one already when it was operating.
What Does It Matter To Who
One clear, cool and breezy late summer night
As I basked in the glow of the midnight twilight
I breathed in the fresh and clean Northern air
And realized I had something so beautiful to share
I hoped there were words to describe these days
These mid-summer nights with no smog and no haze
Just glorious clouds and the clear sky and sun
And so many ways around the city to celebrate and to have fun
These things all happen in my city, my home
Where there is rest and respite for the poor and alone
We can do more for the sick and the homeless I will not deny
All over this world though there are poor people I can’t tell you why
I want to help them all and so I try to cast in my lot
I once was the same as they were, I haven’t forgot
How the shame and the hunger eats away at your soul
Most of those people once had lives that fate somehow stole
Though I feel their pain, I also have memories
When all summer long kids did as they pleased
Adulthood back then seemed eons away
So much time for us back then to run jump and play
But seconds added up into weeks months then years
Soon I was grown and there was no more time for tears
I had to work at making a living every single day
I needed a roof and groceries, there was no other way
Time marched on and on then came the best years of my life
I learned how to cope with and to manage the troubles and strife
And now I will share what I promised with you
It is my good friends that there is nothing you cannot do
You can chip off and flatten the mass of a mountain
You can build a physique that looks like a statue in a fountain
You simply must make big goals your life’s plan
And one day the moon and the stars will be right in your hand
Sit down right now and plan what you want to make of your life
Write down all about your perfect car, your perfect husband or wife
What you dream in your head you one day will be able to do
If you keep on and on at it each day it will come true
The most perfect plans start with simply a thought
The most perfect dreams are made and not bought
I have a goal for myself that one day soon will come to pass
I will write all my poems in the hot sun sipping iced tea from a glass
Far away from this land that I love beside the sea I shall be
With shorts and cool ocean breezes and that feeling that I’m free
And I will return each year when the sun shines and the festivals come
Back to my chosen home, my dear Edmonton
And all the while I will hone my craft
Beginning an amazing creation in every draft
I don’t want things for free, I will work hard for success
And I will remember it is only God I have to impress
June 6, 2015